Second Chance
by sakurademonalchemist
Summary: When Ace dies, he finds out that his afterlife isn't what he expected. Now he has to deal with being a pirate in a land ruled by shinobi while living in a prestigious clan known as the Uchiha. Can Ace make his own path of the ninja without losing his pirate heritage, or will he end up in a bigger fight than the one he lost? Ace-is-Itachi No pairings as of yet.
1. Chapter 1

It was one of the oddest experiences of his after life, as Ace would later recall.

Dying in the arms of his brother Luffy...then waking up squalling and realizing he had become an infant all over again. It took him years to come to terms with the fact he had died and been reborn in a world where Ninjas, not pirates ruled. Instead of vast seas and endless skies, there were massive pieces of land that had varying climates. Instead of devil fruits, there were kekkei genkai...one of which he had apparently inherited when reborn.

And haki had been replaced by the widely used chakra, which wasn't nearly as hard to managed as he found out.

Though he definitely preferred that old geezer to his new parents. Despite his odd training methods he wasn't nearly as boring and he didn't get angry over the fact that his narcolepsy occasionally acted up.

Fugaku and Mikoto had no idea why their first born even _had_ that problem, since no one in the clan did, or his aversion to any form of water bigger than a rather large puddle, but they put up with his quirks (massive appetite included) when he proved to be an _Uchiha_ through and through by mastering the Giant Fireball technique that the clan considered a rite of passage after only seeing it once when his chakra coils were first unlocked.

It had come to no surprise in the clan that Itachi's best element was fire, with wind his second.

Though it had come as a shock that Itachi didn't even flinch when he saw the Kyuubi in all it's glory at the tender age of four. In fact he seemed to stare at the fox right in the eye and something passed between them.

Not that anyone saw that before returning him to a terrified Mikoto who had been worried sick about her son.

* * *

"Nii-san! Can you teach me the shadow shuriken today?" begged Sasuke. The seven-year old would always beg Itachi to teach him, but he was usually too busy rebuilding his reserves back to the way they were before his 'death'.

Today, however, Fugaku had really pissed him off, so he picked the chibi up and spent the day teaching him how to walk up trees without his hands.

"Nii-san...how come you're so weird?" asked Sasuke.

Itachi sweatdropped. He knew full well the clan considered him to be a bigger oddball since Obito, but still...

"Because I don't feel the need to listen to what the old people say I should do. If I don't feel like being boring, then why should I?" said Itachi tactfully.

Five years had done something White Beard once claimed impossible. It had given Itachi 'Ace' Uchiha a sense of tact and some actual manners. That being said, he only did it to keep them off his case because he didn't feel like pandering to their illusion of the 'genius' Itachi.

His narcolepsy was a source of endless frustration for his father, even if Kakashi had found a rather useful way to keep him awake during missions that involved a Kumo-made alarm clock that used a lightning-charged battery. It went off on ten minute intervals at full charge, and drained Itachi's chakra in the process, though it was only a minute amount.

Itachi was just glad that the full-charge of the clock was able to wake him up, odd sleeping disorder or not. He couldn't count the times it had gotten him into trouble.

Though he still had to refrain from cursing like the pirate he once was whenever someone though it was funny to take advantage of him falling asleep at random...the pain his ears went through via Mikoto's fingers pinching them was enough for a lifetime, thank you!

Sasuke seemed like a little monkey the way he followed his every move during training. Fortunately for the kid, Itachi had experience with little brothers and didn't embarrass him too much.

* * *

Itachi listened for about five minutes before his narcolepsy kicked in. He fell asleep during the meeting and only woke up when Fugaku nearly killed him with a kunai to the head.

"Dammit Itachi, what have I said about not wearing that clock of yours during meetings?"

"Wear it so I won't embarrass you during plots to overthrow Konoha?" said Itachi bored.

Fugaku grew a rather large tick mark. Itachi had figured out in a single meeting that the Uchiha were, for one reason or another, planning to overthrow the Hokage. He just didn't care.

All he said was that when Sasuke pulled off a Grand Fireball to keep him out of it. Considering the kid wasn't even ten, Fugaku had agreed to it.

Now that the meeting was over, Itachi headed straight to the bar, ignoring the odd man who appeared to only have one eye.

He had seen him before, but frankly unless the guy pissed him off he wasn't his problem. Why no one seemed to comment on his presence, he had no idea.

* * *

"Yo, Anko-chan!" said Itachi.

"Ace-chan!" she said pleased, slamming back another cup of sake.

Anko Mitarashi was the only person in Konoha who believed he was a reincarnated soul of a pirate who could manipulate fire like it was nothing.

There was a reason for this. The day he made jounin he went out to celebrate and claimed it was all Kakashi's idea. This was the day he ran into Anko for the first time, and in the spirit of getting an Uchiha to 'lighten up' (she apparently didn't know Itachi was the odd man out in the clan) she challenged him to a drinking contest despite Kakashi's attempts to protect Itachi who was still underage.

Itachi, remembering all the drinking contests he had when he was still a pirate, accepted the challenge...and to the shock of many drank the normally lush Anko under the table and a few others. And according to him it was his first time in a bar.

At least a shinobi bar anyway.

Anko later cornered him and he told her the truth about his actual origins. Considering he drank her under the table (among others) she believed him completely.

That being said, she did enjoy dragging him to bars to compare war stories about battles they had been in. His 'parents' were less than pleased to hear about it.

"Where have you been Pyro?" she snarked. It was her name for him, and he didn't care.

"Boring ass clan meeting. Fugaku thinks I give a crap if I get caught sleeping, even with my problem," said Itachi bored.

"Meh. Fugaku is a tight ass," said Anko.

"I hear that. Dumbass thinks he can overthrow the Hokage... Idiot doesn't think things through at all," said Itachi.

"Wha...?" said Anko, suddenly sober.

"They keep talking about overthrowing the Hokage and the Senju or some bullshit. Last I checked Tsunade wasn't even in the village, and had no intention of ever returning," said Itachi.

"That's treason," said Anko.

"That's idiocy," said Itachi flatly.

"Tell me more," she said.

"Some guy with only one eye keeps showing up to those boring ass meetings and stirring them up. I'm the only one who's noticed him, and he seems to be the root of this issue. I mostly fall asleep so I don't have to hear more Pro-Uchiha bullshit," said Itachi.

"Only one eye? And no one else has noticed him?"

"I think there was some sort of genjutsu on him. I only noticed him because I was half asleep I think," said Itachi.

That was the source of much confusion about Itachi. Most Uchiha's could use genjutsu or recognize it with their eyes. Itachi had never bothered to activate his, but for some odd reason Genjutsu slid right off him. It had baffled the ANBU in charge of the tests, because he could plainly see Itachi didn't have his Sharingan on.

Yet another thing that Fugaku was pissed about. Itachi was clearly a genius, yet he never once tried to unlock his kekkei genkai. He instead relied on his fire techniques (some of which the clan had tried to reproduce with absolutely no success whatsoever) or using his fists.

He really couldn't understand why Itachi, who he had tried to raise as the 'Perfect Uchiha Son' was so...different. Yes, he listened to his father and took care of his brother with love, but he didn't really act like an Uchiha at all aside from his fire abilities.

Anko would have dragged Itachi into the Hokage's office, but Itachi calmed her.

"He already knows. Whoever that man with the one eye is, he is keeping any settlement from occurring along with Danzo's help. Annoying bastard."

Itachi drank one last shot of sake, before heading to the river. It was one of the places that he liked to nap at.

He remembered a joke that some people made that he was half-Nara with how smart he was and how much he slept.

(What people didn't know was that Fugaku had Itachi tested and was somewhat upset to learn that Itachi _was_ his son. Mikoto hadn't been pleased when she learned that he half-hoped she had a fling with a Nara man.)

He was about to fall asleep when Shinsui came up to him...and tried to kill him.

Shinsui was one of his few friends and the only one he trusted to take care of Sasuke for him when he was on missions.

So being forced to kill him was difficult, but not very painful. Itachi didn't like killing, but he wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty.

"Explain, before you pass on," said Itachi.

"Fugaku doesn't want you to ruin the plan. He sent me to kill you," rasped Shinsui, before he died.

Itachi cleaned his hands. Fugaku wouldn't be stupid enough to send Shinsui after him. He knew full well that his cousin wasn't strong enough to do the job. Someone else had sent him.

He thought back to what he had read. One of the things he had picked up in this world was a love of reading. He normally didn't have a chance to on the ship or exploring, because there was always something to do.

One of the scrolls he had found...or was directed to, was about an advanced form of Sharingan.

The Mangekyo. Someone wanted him to unlock it by killing his 'best friend' but that had occurred years ago. The only way he would be able to unlock something like that now was if Luffy or worse Sasuke died in front of him.

Itachi frowned. Knowing the plan that was in place for the clan because of the attempted revolt, he would have to keep Sasuke far from the compound for a few days. But first, he needed to see the Hokage.

* * *

"My cover has been blown. Someone sent Shinsui to kill me in hopes of unlocking another form of Sharingan," said Itachi.

"Are you sure?" said Sarutobi.

"He claims Fugaku was the one behind it, but I know that to be a lie. Fugaku would have better sense to send someone stronger to kill me, since it's well known among the clan that I have a very strong resistance to genjutsu."

"What?"

"Shinsui had an odd form of Sharingan that would allow subtle genjutsu to be cast without hand seals. Sending him after me would be suicide."

"So whoever sent him to kill you either didn't know or didn't care. Why are you smiling?"

"Because of how unique Shinsui's eyes were, I took the liberty of destroying them just in case. There was always the chance that whoever sent him did so in order to steal them and it was just coincidence," said Itachi.

Yet another thing that he had gotten from this world. The ability to think ahead.

Back when he was a pirate, he had plenty of back-up, or at least knew what he was getting into. As a ninja, he didn't have that luxury.

"What do you plan to do now?"

"I'm kidnapping Sasuke for the day. I have a feeling this will come to a boil tomorrow, and there's no way I'm letting my brother get caught up in this mess. And before you ask, no I am not going undercover. I hate doing those."

Sarutobi nodded. If anyone could keep Sasuke from following the wrong path, it was his brother. Out of that entire cursed clan, Itachi was the only one he had any hopes for.

Because he acted more like Minato than Fugaku. (According to Kakashi at any rate.)

* * *

Itachi went looking for Sasuke after school, only to learn that 'he' had taken the boy early.

He ran to the clan compound to find most of the Uchiha dead, and his brother held hostage.

Sasuke looked terrified, but not confused. Apparently he had figured out on the way home that this wasn't Itachi, but a fake. The fake had a sharp kunai to his brother's throat, but Itachi could just barely make out what Sasuke was mouthing to him.

Fire Man.

One of Sasuke's favorite bedtime stories was Fire Man, which was actually him describing his days as a pirate only edited to ninja tastes. It was a five-year-old who gave him the name Fire Man, and the name stuck.

"Release my brother now," said Itachi coldly.

"Really Itachi, did you think I would care what you want? You, who have finally achieved the second stage and unlocked your Sharingan?" sneered the fake.

"I never unlocked it you moron. The reason they slapped a genius label on me is because I have an instinctive grasp on fire jutsu," snorted Itachi.

Itachi knew what he had to do.

He created a single shadow clone then grabbed Sasuke. His brother was cut a little, but it would heal.

"Did you really think a single pathetic clone would work?" sneered the fake.

"Oh, but that's not a clone," said Itachi.

"What?" said the fake, turning.

Standing to the side was a familiar body. His body, before he died.

Sasuke's eyes were wide, as he saw the tattoo on the back, the odd hat on his head...and the fact the man was only wearing pants.

"Fire Man..." he whispered.

"The name...is Gol D. Ace. And you just pissed off the wrong person fake," sneered Ace.

Here, Ace could go by his birth name. Here, it was the Age of Shinobi, and the legend of One Piece had never existed. Gol D. Roger wasn't around to ruin his son's life anymore.

Ace looked at his current body and nodded. Itachi didn't ask, he just took Sasuke and ran. His past self could handle anything that freak threw at him, and even if he couldn't he was only a clone. As long as the main body was safe, Ace could come back at any time.

"Aniki, was that Fire Man?" asked Sasuke.

"That was Fire Man. He'll keep that fake busy while we get to the hospital."

"He was just like you described Aniki!" said Sasuke.

There was a loud explosion behind them. Sasuke's eyes were wide as he saw a massive ball of flame appear in the sky. Itachi was tempted to see what it looked like from the outside, but he knew better.

The sooner he got to ANBU headquarters and patched up his brother, the better off they would be.

"Aniki, there's a fire bird behind us!" said Sasuke.

Itachi did spare a glance behind him and he saw the Phoenix Fire rise up. It was one of his more powerful techniques. He had a dragon fire as well, but he rarely used it because it generally wore him out to the point of exhaustion.

If the fireball in the sky didn't attract attention, it definitely would. He could see ANBU racing to the Uchiha compound to see what the hell was going on.

Thankfully Anko was on duty at Headquarters.

"Itachi, what the hell is going on? Reports of massive fire techniques have been going on for the last ten minutes!" she said.

"Someone killed off the clan and tried to kill Sasuke. I popped off a shadow clone so it could take care of the killer," said Itachi blandly.

"Hold up, reports said that the one shooting off fire had a weird orange hat, a massive tattoo on his back and no shirt..."

"Remember when you asked how I could drink you under the table and keep going?"

"Ah... never mind then. So that's you before..." said Anko, waving at him. Itachi nodded.

The two remaining Uchiha stayed in ANBU headquarters until someone finally brought Ace in. He grinned at Itachi before dispelling himself, alarming the ANBU greatly.

"Fire clones. Far more useful than ordinary shadow clones," said Itachi blandly. Thank kami that clone dispelled itself with a small burst of flame.


	2. Chapter 2

Itachi listened to the idiots who attempted to adopt the 'last Uchiha' in a bid for power. He did what he did best, and allow his sleeping disorder to kick in. He had lived with it for so long that he could sleep on command if he wanted.

That ended when Sasuke kicked him. Hard.

"Aniki..." he whimpered.

"Well, now that the bullshit is out of the way..." yawned Itachi (quite a few people glared at him, since as an ANBU he decided who adopted them) "I think we should live with... none of you idiots. I am perfectly capable of raising Sasuke on my own, and none of you are nearly as annoying as Fugaku was. No offense Hiashi-san, but you aren't nearly as effective at glares."

That got a chuckle from Hiashi. He rather liked Itachi, because unlike the rest of the clan he didn't have a holier-than-thou attitude. In fact he was blunt to the point of rudeness.

It was a refreshing change of pace from the Hyuuga Elders.

"And so I say to you, Fuck Off."

Sarutobi coughed amused, but gave Itachi a look.

"Correction, respectfully fuck off and leave us the hell alone. I wasn't a big fan of my clan before, and I certainly wouldn't trust most of you to raise Sasuke without giving him a superiority complex that will make working with him in the future damn near impossible for others," said Itachi flatly.

There was silence...before Tsume Inuzuka laughed.

"Hah! Well said for a pup! I agree with him. He's old enough to raise his brother and he's a jounin. If you ever need any help babysitting you can always leave him at our compound. I'm sure Kiba would love to have a friend to play with," said Tsume.

"I might take you up on that, Tsume-san," said Itachi.

Itachi rather liked the Inuzuka clan, who prized loyalty over power. He had unknowingly established himself as a follower who had all the qualities of a leader when he worked with a few as an ANBU. If things went bad, he generally was able to lead them out of trouble without many casualties.

He just didn't like to. It was easier being the subordinate because there was less paperwork.

(Yet another reason he became a pirate. No way in Davy Jones' Locker was he doing _that_ much paperwork willingly! Why ninjas bothered with it, he had no clue.)

Probably why Tsume liked him so much. He followed orders, but he didn't have the drive to challenge the leader at bad moments.

Itachi would fear for his chastity...if he wasn't a pirate and used to frequenting the red lights district.

That had been a joke Anko played on him once, dragging him to the Kaen to see how the Uchiha would react. He had taken a few pictures of her reaction to the fact he didn't even blink but rather joined in.

Mikoto hadn't been pleased when Kakashi brought back a drunk Itachi that night smelling like that. Thankfully it had been Anko to play the prank, not Kakashi, or the Dog-masked ANBU would have been castrated that night.

* * *

"Aniki, why are we living here again?" said Sasuke.

The building was two blocks away from the red lights district and one building away from the nearest bar. It was also a good section away from the clan compound.

"Because Fire Man did so much damage to the compound that most of the buildings were totaled, including our house. Well, that and they had to clean up the blood from the clan. Until then we had to find a new place to live and this place is cheap, not to mention that most or our... well wishers...wouldn't think to find us here."

The brothers shared a grimace at the reminder of their large horde of fan girls. Itachi tolerated them only to the point that they no longer made useful cannon fodder, as they had a large number of wannabe kunoichi chasing after them.

Anko had laughed so hard sake actually shot out her nose.

Apparently it was painful enough for her to recreate in her sessions at the T and I using some strong sake (cheap too!) and laughing gas.

Sadly Sasuke couldn't do the same.

Suddenly a head popped out of the window next to theirs.

"WILL YOU GIRLS SHUT THE HELL UP! SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO READ HERE!"

"...was that Naruto the class clown?" said Sasuke faintly.

"Why did you think the rent was so cheap?" said Itachi.

Naruto spotted the two Uchiha and grinned when he saw Itachi.

"ACE!"

"Breakfast is in five...and no Sasuke, we are not using fire jutsu. Not after last time."

"But you do it all the time!" protested the little pyro.

"Yes, but I have an instinctive knowledge of when it gets too high. You just like to burn the food and make us order take out."

Sasuke did not deny this statement, or complain when Naruto joined them. Naruto apparently shared a similar interest in Itachi that Sasuke did, so the two had become his official boy's fan club that he would acknowledge.

The unofficial one generally spent most of it's time finding a new place to meet, since the last time Itachi found them he tried to burn the place to the ground.

The Hokage was less than pleased when one of the Yamanaka's houses was burned. Inoichi, even less so.

Especially when it was his house.

* * *

Madara was not a happy camper. He knew Itachi was considered odd, but aside from hearing he was the current 'genius' son of the Clan Head, he had automatically assumed it was because of the sharingan.

Instead the little bastard beats the crap out of him with an altered clone he can't copy without once using the famous doujutsu! And from what he could tell, sending the brat's best friend didn't result in him awakening the second stage!

Later he would learn from Kakuzu and Sasori that Itachi was considered a genius not because of his mastery of the Uchiha bloodline, but because of his ability to use fire jutsu and alter them without the bloodline. Apparently Itachi had never once activated the infamous doujutsu, though one report said if he wanted to he could at any time.

Another report said that Fugaku had actually tested the boy when he was young after the fifth time his narcolepsy kicked in, thinking his wife had an affair with a Nara. He was less than happy to find out that Itachi was his, and Mikoto was pissed he had doubted her fidelity.

And then there was that clone. The one the little brat Sasuke had called Fire Man.

Apparently it was a more of a title than a nickname as he had assumed originally. This...Ace...was a master of the fire element and he pulled off so many jutsu that it was impossible to copy them all! And he was an Uchiha!

And the worst part was that Itachi had no intention of chasing him down to protect his brother! The boy even said so to his face!

"_Families die out all the time in the Shinobi countries. What makes the Uchiha any different from the Yuki, or the Senju?"_

Madara would swear that the brat mentioned the Senju just to piss him off.

* * *

"You want to adopt Naruto? Why?" said Sarutobi.

"I practically babysit him anyway, and if there's anyone who can teach Sasuke how to survive in the wild it's him. Besides, the chibi brigade grows on you after a while," said Itachi blandly.

Actually the reason was because Naruto reminded him of a less rubbery, more hyper version of Luffy, with an appetite to match.

"No ulterior motives, no chance you try to kill him in his sleep?" he said.

"I like the kid. Annoying, but I can live with that. Though chances are he will eventually develop a fan club like ours... it seems to be a family curse."

Sarutobi blinked.

"Fine. From now on he'll be Uzumaki-Uchiha. Anything else?"

"Is the compound fit for habitation, or should I locate a new house? The idiots keep harassing us in the middle of the night and as amused as Anko is by the fact I deliver them as presents, it does get tedious."

Sarutobi coughed. That was another mystery of Itachi he didn't feel like solving.

Instead of killing people, he handed them over to Anko as presents. Of course the mere fact that most of said 'gifts' tended to soil themselves when they realized who they were about to meet was pretty entertaining in itself.

An idea occurred to him, one that amused him greatly.

A way to tell Naruto about his parents without actually telling him.

"Unfortunately the Uchiha compound is still under quarantine and in need of massive repairs. However I do know of a house that is available that would suit your needs. I just hope you like gardening."

"It's one of Naruto's hobbies. I'm sure he wouldn't mind taking a garden over."

* * *

"SUGOI! Is this our house?" said Naruto.

"The Hokage agreed to give it to us since our compound is in dire need of renovation and cleaning and because the council was giving him headaches when they found out where we were actually living. The garden is yours to play with, Naruto. Sasuke, you get to play with the practice weapons in the training room under the house, and I get the library. Coincidentally Naruto, the Hokage said this house used to belong to your parents, so technically its your house and I'm your guardian."

"So... it's our house?" said Naruto. He knew Itachi had formally adopted him into their clan, seeing as he was part of the family anyway.

"Yes, this is our house," said Itachi.

Naruto put his hand on the seal that had been on the gate, which drew a little blood before opening.

Once in, it was all Itachi could do to keep up with the duo who explored practically every nook and cranny of the house. To his dismay, the food had long since gone bad. But then again, according to the Hokage, Naruto's parents had died when the Kyuubi attacked, so it made more sense than it didn't.

With a sigh, he told the boys to behave for an hour while he went on a massive shopping spree for food. A few shadow clones helped him to find the best bargains.

An hour later he discovered a problem. While his hands were full of food, he couldn't exactly kick down the door to get in.

"Alright, one of you open the damn door. I have my hands full!" he yelled.

Naruto was the one to scramble to the gate first. He was hungry after he had managed to get all the vines off the walls. Even after enlisting Sasuke it had taken the combined power of both children to pull most of them off.

Though the poison ivy was very concerning...

One massive dinner and a quick homework revision later, and the three were crashed on the couch.

* * *

_Itachi had a good idea where he was, and frankly he didn't care. Unlike most people he didn't give a damn how big or scary the fox was...he had seen far worse. He walked into the open area where the Fox tried to spear him._

"_Really? Is that the best you could come up with? How did I get in here anyway?"_

"_Uh, that would be my doing," said a blond man._

"_Yondaime. Or should I say Naruto's father?"_

"_Minato is fine. I suppose you do deserve an explanation and a thank you Itachi...or should I call you Ace?"_

"_Either one is fine."_

"_Itachi, thank you for helping Naruto reclaim a part of his inheritance."_

"_Not a problem, though I have to ask how exactly do we bypass that bloodseal on the gate? As good as it is, I really don't want to have to track down Jiraiya to get a new one installed, and it would get old fast if Naruto had to open it each time."_

"_That? Just add your blood with Naruto's the next time he opens it and you'll be keyed in. Kushina was the one who made it, after all."_

"_Who set old fox breath on the village anyway? Last I checked he was safely contained."_

_Minato scowled._

"_Madara Uchiha."_

"_...Would he happen to have one eye and be extremely annoying?" said Itachi._

"_You've met him?"_

"_I've seen him a few times and he killed the clan. No great loss there, they were overdue for an asskicking anyway, and leaving us the last Uchiha makes it easier to get away with things. It was pretty funny watching him try to duplicate my fire attacks and fail. I wish I could see the look on his face when he realized I've never bothered to activate the Sharingan."_

_Minato laughed, as there had always been something about Itachi that he liked._

"_Just so you know, you have all the time in the world to chat with me during the time you and Naruto sleep. The energy that I use up once he hits eight tails isn't used unless he's awake, since I'm dead and you're a reincarnation. The dead have very few limitations when it comes to communicating with each other."_

"_Good to know. I'll come to you first when I start training Naruto in wind manipulation. Somehow, I get the feeling that's his element."_

"_It is. I'll leave the information for the rasengan in your waking mind so you can teach him that too. Should give that damn Sage a heart attack when he finds out."_

"_Jiraiya? What did he do to you?"_

"_He's Naruto's godfather, and since we see everything our son sees, we know for a fact he's never actually checked on him since he left."_

"_I'll be sure to give him your regards... would one ball or two suffice?"_

"_One," said Minato with a feral grin._

"_**OI! Quit ignoring me dammit!"** said the fox._

"_Kyuubi no Yoko, the feared Nine-Tailed Demon Fox. I thought you would be more impressive, but then again Ninja always have been a bit dramatic. And don't try to intimidate me, fox. I've fought far worse than you and lived," said Itachi flatly._

"_**Damn Uchiha...though you are the only Monkey Eye that I can respect, since you don't care about that damn doujutsu or try to steal the efforts of others."**_

"_Why steal when I can get it with a little hard work? Then I can know my own limits with it. Though seeing them try to kill themselves by copying my fire attacks are hilarious."_

"_**Agreed. If only they knew that in your past life you were the one to eat the Fire Fire Devil Fruit. Copying your attacks without the signs is impossible,"** snickered the fox._

"_Any requests?" asked Itachi._

"_**Several,"** said a now amused fox._

_Itachi woke up with a new jutsu and several pranks that he would unleash on the village._


	3. Chapter 3

Itachi was grinning as Naruto ran from the older, more experienced Shinobi who had seen him paint the Hokage mountain. To their credit, Naruto was secretly employed by the Third to give the ANBU regular performance exams since the Hokage had noted how often he pranked their headquarters.

The only one who could capture Naruto on most days was Iruka, and that was because Naruto _let_ the man catch him. His respect for his teacher was great enough that he even added Iruka to the short list of people allowed in the house.

Even though the renovations and cleaning had long since been done years ago, none of the trio wanted to move there. Sasuke and Itachi for the memories, and Naruto because he liked their new home. The idiots who harassed them day and night could never get in unless he let them.

And the fan girls couldn't get within ten feet of the gate without getting zapped. Itachi had come up with that seal, though how, they had no idea.

(Minato gave it to him, apparently it was an invention of Kushina's that she had been unable to put into reality due to the fact that they weren't able to be seen as husband and wife, to her immense displeasure.)

Of course that was nowhere near as amusing as the look on the Toad Sage's face when Itachi actually _did_ catch up to him and curtly informed the man who due to his foolishness in not checking in on his godson, he was now banned from the estate until further notice. And that all the copies of his porn which he had been in the process of publishing had been confiscated.

What Itachi didn't tell Jiraiya was that he had given a few copies to the Hokage in exchange for overlooking a few things Itachi had done that he didn't approve of. Apparently the Hokage was a pervert.

Not that Itachi cared...after all he still went to the red lights district on occasion to chat with the women there.

People still couldn't believe how 'Un-Uchiha' their greatest genius and clan heir was. The fact Itachi couldn't care less about their opinions and still fell asleep during regular jounin meetings only made it worse, unfortunately.

Itachi grinned when he saw Iruka dragging a gagged and bound Naruto back to class.

He would feel sorry for the man, if it wasn't for the fact that Itachi had, in a fit of mischief, set him up with Anko as a joke.

The two were currently going steady since Anko had apparently taken to heart Iruka's request not to bring anything pointy to bed except on designated nights. According to his favorite drinking partner, Iruka had a lot of stamina and creativity. He blamed that on Naruto.

Yawning, Itachi headed home from the mission office. He had gotten so used to his narcolepsy that he knew when he was about to fall asleep, and the Hokage allowed him to take missions that were short, since his body had started to get too used to the electric alarm clock.

He was currently trying to find a better model, but that would involve bothering someone in Kumo, which he couldn't do because of the incident with the Hyuuga clan.

Once inside the house, which was a small fortress now thanks to all the additions Minato helped Itachi to put into place (most, if not all Kushina's creations) that made it damn near impossible to break into.

Which was a good thing considering the rather horrifying size of the fan girl horde that had grown in years.

To the dismay of Itachi, the older he got, the larger it grew. He had a good idea why too.

As the clan heir to the Uchiha clan, he was of age to have children. Not that he wanted to just yet. It seemed the girls were under the mistaken impression that he cared to bring back the clan since he went to the red lights district frequently.

Though people still didn't know what to make of the fact Itachi had yet to activate his doujutsu. Apparently it was a very big deal to them, as the blood test had proven he was the son of Fugaku and Mikoto, his personality stating otherwise.

They just didn't want to believe that no, he didn't want to activate it because he didn't care about it. It had yet to stop him from becoming a jounin and former ANBU, and the fact he refused to rely on his doujutsu had only given him more respect from his colleagues, not less.

Of course it also helped that Itachi was rather amusing, even without his narcolepsy causing him to fall asleep at the weirdest times...

He knew for a fact that a few Nara females had their eye on him and he had a rather large amount of friends from the male half.

He just thanked his lucky stars Hana had her eyes on someone else...because he had a bad feeling Tsume would try to castrate him if he didn't date her daughter if she showed any interest aside from friendship.

* * *

After a long nap, he planned to get ready for the next mission when he heard the commotion outside.

"What's going on?" he yawned.

"Naruto's stolen the Forbidden Scroll!" said one of the lesser chunin.

Itachi blinked. Naruto had no need for the scroll, since Minato had read through the entire thing once out of boredom once he hit Hokage and his eidetic memory meant he remembered everything in it. All Naruto would have to do was ask Itachi who could ask Minato. And the blond knew this, because Itachi didn't bother lying to the boy as to where his source was.

Though Naruto did develop a habit of sleeping more often whenever Itachi's narcolepsy kicked in, in hopes his father would teach him something new. None of them commented on this fact, since Minato was all too happy to help Naruto's poor training.

Itachi, as a former Grand Line Pirate and ANBU Captain, wouldn't let Naruto's mishandled training get the boy killed in the field. So whenever he had a spare moment, he would train both boys in real combat, not the pansy crap the Academy fed them.

Naruto took to his pirate fighting style with gusto, while Sasuke favored the traditional Uchiha style Itachi had been forced to learn, but never really liked.

Itachi couldn't help but feel that Naruto would have loved being a pirate. He would have fit right in with the crew Luffy had managed to gather.

Though Itachi did have a very good laugh at the Kyuubi's expense when the fox inadvertently mentioned that he hated boats because of sea sickness. Itachi and Minato had laughed for hours when they learned Kyuubi couldn't hold his lunch on boats.

Being seasick was something that most pirates worked hard to get over, at least if they wanted to make names for themselves.

Itachi ran straight to a small cabin in the woods...and coincidentally beat Iruka there by a good five minutes.

"Care to explain?" he said.

"Mizuki-sensei said that since it's not my fault my clone sucks ass, I could take the secondary test to become genin. All I had to do was retrieve this scroll from the Hokage's office and find him."

"Naruto, that scroll is called the 'Forbidden Scroll', as in it's a village secret that shouldn't be in the hands of genin? And there aren't any secondary exams for genin anyway."

"So...Mizuki is a traitor trying to pin the blame on me?" said Naruto. He wasn't nearly as dense as he made people think.

"And what do we do to traitors?" said Itachi smirking.

"We beat the crap out of 'em! And then we rob them blind for anything of value!" said Naruto proudly.

Itachi had a...skewed...vision of what one does when they beat an enemy. As a former pirate, anyone stupid enough to challenge him and end up unconscious was fair game to plunder. You don't mess with a pirate, especially one as mischievous as Ace. Whitebeard certainly never bothered to correct that behavior.

Iruka showed up first, confirming what Itachi had told the boy. The grin was starting to worry the poor Chunin.

Itachi did save him from a nasty injury though, by grabbing him.

Mizuki was less than pleased to see the Uchiha heir there. And then when he dropped the bombshell about the fox inside Naruto, his frown only grew as Naruto kept smirking at him.

"Naruto, remember anything you can't carry you can still seal into your pocket scroll," Itachi reminded the boy. Minato had gotten Naruto hooked on seals when he mentioned paint tags. The poor village had been hit particularly hard that week, especially the ANBU who had been labeled the Konoha Feather Dusters when Naruto figured out how to add glue and feather tags into the mix. Tsume had nearly laughed herself sick about that incident.

Iruka watched, in mute horror, as Naruto beat the living crap out of Mizuki with his clones and proceeded to rob him blind, sealing most of it in his pocket scroll as Itachi had reminded him. He had heard about Itachi's odd habit to rob anyone he defeated in battle, but he hadn't thought much of it at the time.

According to Anko, most of the time it was Itachi's way of getting some extra booze money. Well, that and it was funny as hell to see the looks on people's faces when after a misinformed spar with Itachi they had to walk around the village stark naked. Though he usually left the headband alone.

Those that usually fought Itachi were mostly genin and chunin who thought it was funny to start a fight with him when his narcolepsy kicked in near a training ground. The Hokage had absolutely no sympathy for those fools, and neither did the jounin responsible for them. They would often laugh at them in their face before informing them who they had tried to challenge.

Though the Hokage did jokingly place a reward that anyone who could actually beat Itachi in a surprise attack like that could collect. Rumor had it that the ANBU had fronted the money for amusement.

* * *

"Team 7 will be Sakura Haruno, Naruto Uzumaki-Uchiha and Sasuke Uchiha. Your jounin instructors will be Itachi and Kakashi."

Naruto and Sasuke immediately high fived.

"We got Itachi!"

"Damn! Why do you guys get all the luck?" said Kiba. Naruto and Sasuke knew full well he hoped to get Itachi as his jounin instructor, since he idolized the boy as much as the other two did.

There was a reason why Itachi called anyone who followed him around the Chibi Patrol. He had three other followers, namely the Third's grandson and his friends, that he called the Junior Chibi Patrol.

They followed him around because he showed them how to walk up trees without hands. He knew full well that exercise would entertain the kids more than leaf spinning, which was the regulation method of chakra control at their age.

It was also what he taught Naruto, Sasuke and Kiba at that age. If they could handle it, so could Konohamaru and his friends.

The door opened slightly revealing...a weasel? Iruka watched in disbelief as the weasel walked up to Naruto, who leaned down and let it crawl up his arm onto his shoulder were it fell straight asleep and ignored everyone.

Forgetting the surrealism of that, Iruka continued on.

Three hours later Sakura was frothing at the mouth at the fact that neither of their teachers was there. She at least expected Itachi to show up by now. Finally the partially opened door widened to reveal a man with silver hair, masked face and one eye covered by his headband.

The itching powder covered eraser fell on his head, and it took him five minutes to notice what the thing was laced with.

He looked around.

"Where's Itachi?"

"He got here early and his narcolepsy kicked in again," said Naruto.

Kakashi noticed the weasel on the boy's collar.

"He did his disappearing trick again didn't he?" he said sweatdropping.

The weasel on Naruto's collar yawned widely, before poofing into a bored Itachi.

"I knew you would take forever to grace us with your presence, so I figured crashing on Naruto's collar would beat trying to wait for your lazy ass," said Itachi flatly.

Sakura's eyes bulged.

"YOU WERE HERE THE ENTIRE TIME?!"

Itachi winced at the volume level.

"Lesson one: NINJA are supposed to be quiet, not act like banshee's in training," he said glaring at her. On the plus side he was fully awake now. Sakura blushed.

Naruto snickered, though he had a similar problem until Itachi took him aside and told him that his normal volume level (loud) was only for when he wasn't on missions. Considering Naruto was only that loud because no one paid him any attention, he had taken it under advisement.

"Alright kiddies, names, likes, dislikes and dreams. You first pinkie."

"My name is Sakura Haruno. I like 'kyaa!'. I dislike Ino-pig and Naruto. My dream is to 'kyaa!'"

Itachi stared at her for a moment before recognition hit.

"Son of a... I am going to strangle that old man. He knows I hate fan girls with a passion! I asked him specifically not to give us any cannon fodder!" growled Itachi. Sasuke and Naruto nodded in agreement.

Fan girls were labeled cannon fodder by the Uchiha trio. And several of the other shinobi had started a similar labeling system for the unwanted attention.

Naruto snickered.

"Uzumaki-Uchiha Naruto. I like Itachi-nii, Iruka-sensei, gardening, ramen, and making new seals. I dislike cannon fodder who can't make themselves useful in the field, the time it takes ramen to cook, and people who can't see the kunai for the scroll. My dream is to one day become Hokage!"

"Uchiha Sasuke. I like Itachi-aniki, stories about Fire Man, cooking, tomatoes, and reading. I dislike fangirls and people who go on and on about the Uchiha clan without pause. My dream is to one day make Jounin...and develop a sure-fire way to wake Itachi-aniki up without getting thrown into the nearest water source."

"Fire Man?" said Kakashi.

Sasuke hooked a thumb at Itachi.

"My bedtime stories for the Chibi Patrol are usually about someone Sasuke nicknamed Fire Man when he was five, and the name stuck. With how much they seem to like the tales, I'm seriously considering getting them published," said Itachi.

"Right. My name is Kakashi Hatake. My likes, dislikes and dreams aren't any concern of yours."

"Don't you mean you like Jiraiya's poorly written porn, dislike the time it takes for the publishers to bring the next one out, and dream to one day have a girlfriend who doesn't mind the fact you're a pervert?" snarked Itachi.

"You're one to talk. I don't know all the girls at the best brothel in the village by_ name_," said Kakashi.

"I have an eye for color, and don't care if they drag me on shopping trips," shrugged Itachi. Plus he got to see them in scandalous clothing for free.

"You're next," said Kakashi.

"My name is Uchiha Itachi. I like fire, booze, reading and finding new ways to make cannon fodder suffer horribly for forcing themselves in my presence. I dislike cannon fodder, people who think it's funny to wake me up from my narcolepsy-induced naps by attacking, and having to deal with people who seem to think that just because I am a Uchiha that I must have the Sharingan fully mastered simply because I was called a genius when I was still a genin. My dream is to one day actually care about what people think. So far that doesn't seem like it will ever happen," said Itachi.

Sasuke and Naruto burst out laughing at his dream. Itachi did have an actual dream that only they knew about, but he didn't like explaining that he had been a pirate in a past life who could manipulate fire in ways the Uchiha clan could only dream of.

Itachi wanted to see Luffy again, if only to tell him that it wasn't his fault that he had died. With all the stories he told them of his past life, they viewed the rubber boy as their second older brother, even if they had never met him yet.

"Alright, now that's over with, meet us at Training ground 7 at eight, where we'll determine whether or not you're able to become genin."

"WHAT?! I thought we were already genin!" shrieked Sakura. She flinched when Itachi threw a kunai close to her head.

"I heard that you were a good student, so how did you forget the first lesson of shinobi?" said Itachi.

Sakura looked horrified. She wanted to make a good impression on the duo who would dictate their shinobi careers.

"Just cut down on the shrieking, and I won't be too angry at you. Narcolepsy is bad enough without having to wake up to a massive migraine."

"What is narcolepsy?" said Sakura.

"It means he can fall asleep at random without warning," said Naruto.

"It can last anywhere from a few minutes to a couple of hours. He once fell asleep for two days straight, nearly gave the ANBU commander a heart attack because he thought Aniki was under a genjutsu," snickered Sasuke.

"I remember that. Giraffe had to request leave because you scared him so bad," said Kakashi.

"Anko nearly laughed herself sick when she heard why," said Itachi amused.


	4. Chapter 4

Itachi wasn't sleeping on the ground when they arrived the next morning. Instead he was writing something, which Sasuke quickly identified as the bedtime stories Itachi would tell the two at night.

"Finally got around to writing them?" he said.

"Biggest problem is the title," said Itachi. He tossed two onigiri packs (three to a pack) to his brother.

Sasuke took the hint and started eating. Naruto was right behind them, having taken his time in the shower. He also started eating the onigiri Itachi tossed him, despite Kakashi's orders not to the day before.

Sakura was the last to arrive, looking absolutely miserable and her stomach growling.

Itachi tossed her a single pack, and she reluctantly started eating. He could see that she was thin in an unhealthy way, and if she wanted to be a real kunoichi, he would correct that immediately.

"Sakura, exactly how much do you eat every day?" he asked suddenly.

"I eat at least five carrots, a bowl of rice and some miso, why?"

"I thought as much. If you pass this test, I am taking you to the medic nin so they can come up with a proper eating regiment that won't involve you foolishly starving yourself for the sake of appealing to the idiots who think they know what actual beauty is. Anorexia is not something you should take lightly, and it will only hurt you in the long run."

"He's right. Anko-nee-chan doesn't bother with silly diets, and she has an awesome figure when all she eats most days is dango!" Naruto chirped.

"Which brings me to another question. What sort of kunoichi are you? Are you a genjutsu type? A medic type? A weapons specialist? Or do you favor ninjutsu or taijutsu?"

"Um...I don't really have a type," she said nervously.

"What are you good at?" Itachi pressed.

"I have a good memory and really good chakra control. Leaf spinning was my best class," she said.

"Which means you naturally favor genjutsu and medic jutsu. If we pass, you are to ask the medics for beginner scrolls on medic jutsu and I'll ask Anko for some genjutsu you can try."

Three hours later, and they were all ready to commit murder on Kakashi when he finally showed up. Itachi had finished the first draft of the stories of Fire Man, which meant he needed someone to proofread it, possibly Anko or Iruka. He would ask Iruka first though...the man was a teacher and he had better grammar.

Before they split apart, Itachi did give them a cryptic hint on the actual test.

"Remember, Konoha nin _always_ operate under at least three-man cells," he said.

Itachi immediately went back to writing, only occasionally looking up. He had flipped a coin with Kakashi last night and the scarecrow had lost. Hence why the silver-haired man was the one to fight the chibi patrol and the cannon fodder.

* * *

An hour later, Sakura was tied to the post and Kakashi delivered a rather strong point home to the trio.

Sasuke and Naruto had teamed up immediately after Naruto gauged Kakashi's skill level as roughly Itachi's in a bad mood. Like when someone woke him up with a kunai to the head or Naruto eating the last pocky.

Sakura was in tears because Kakashi had threatened to kill Sasuke (which he wouldn't, because if he tried Itachi would broil him alive slowly) in order to make his point that now that they were ninja, playing games was out of the question. When they finally got onto the field, enemy nin wouldn't hesitate to kill them.

Though Kakashi did do a doubletake when Naruto casually asked him why they should kill Sakura when she was still semi-useful as cannon fodder.

The look he shot Itachi was amusing.

Sakura looked ready to hit him for that comment, and she was only stopped by the ropes she was bound in.

Once Kakashi hid himself, Sasuke and Naruto shared their lunch with Sakura because the sound of her rumbling stomach (apparently the only thing she had eaten today was the onigiri pack Itachi threw her earlier, which her nutrition starved body had burned through rather quickly) had annoyed them.

Her body was too weak to handle any real training, and Kakashi had taken her out first. He had been disgusted with how quickly she passed out from exhaustion with only a few shuriken.

The other two boys made a much better showing, and had nearly gotten the bells.

Kakashi realized this was probably the best he would get until the trio were trained up a bit more. He passed them, though he wasn't too happy about it.

* * *

Itachi's first task was to take Sakura straight to the hospital to get a proper diet regiment so she would be in decent weight class. The medic nin had been horrified when he found out the girl had essentially been starving herself for the sake of a fool's idea of beauty.

Sakura wasn't too happy with how much she would have to eat every day, but if she didn't want to become cannon fodder (as Naruto, Sasuke and Itachi had driven that particular point home rather hard) she would have to eat and actually train from now on.

If not, she could always drop from the ninja program and become a civilian. That was available to any genin who had recently graduated.

She would have a year to find a better teacher before she would be taken to have her chakra sealed.

It was standard protocol for all hidden villages. And while it was possible to remove the seal, it almost never happened. If you weren't meant to be a shinobi, then it was better to wash out within the first year, rather than bring the team down.

That was one of the lessons that Iruka had driven home rather early on.

What she didn't know was that attitude had really annoyed the Civilian council who had made a point to dumb down the Academy to the level someone like Sakura, who had very limited use outside the classroom could become a shinobi. If Itachi had his way, they would drum out half the civilian kids in a month. He knew full well that there was little chance they would become shinobi, and it was sad that they allowed such dreams to continue for so long instead of giving them a painful, but necessary death.

* * *

Itachi's first act as jounin instructor was to give the kiddies something else to think about while Kakashi took his sweet time. Technically, this was his first team and Kakashi was supervising. In reality he was the substitute until Kakashi got off his ass and came.

Finally, Sakura asked why Itachi never used the Sharingan. It was something that had been on the minds of many who knew him, but he never explained why.

"You want to know why I don't have the doujutsu, despite having the best chance at unlocking it?" he asked. He felt like humoring them, as Kakashi happened to be reading on a tree five feet away from him. That was a question his friend had asked more than once.

Itachi popped his neck.

"I don't have it because I don't particular see a need for it. Yes, there was a time when it activated right in front of me in the middle of the night when I happened to be in the bathroom next to a mirror, and I knew how to turn it on and off. But I never expanded on it because I didn't see the need. The sharingan, in my opinion, made the clan lazy. They thought they were better than everyone simply because thanks to their eyes they didn't have to work as hard as everyone else to master jutsu. I disagreed, which was why once they woke up on their own, I simply never bothered to use them afterwords."

Kakashi appeared at that time.

"You have the Sharingan?" he said in surprise.

"Since I was four and locked eyes with the fox. I was in the bathroom and suddenly they shifted to red. Seeing how Fugaku acted because of his precious eyes and the way he treated those without it gave me more than enough reason not to inform him. I was the idol of more than half the Uchiha clan, particularly those who had yet to awaken their eyes."

Kakashi nodded in agreement. He remembered almost painfully the complaints Obito had about Fugaku and the way he treated those who had become shinobi and had yet to awaken their bloodline limit.

He had a feeling Obito would have loved to hang out with Itachi. Those two would have gotten along like a building on fire.

"How many tomoe do you have?"

"All three. It's a fully activate sharingan, but like I said before, I never really saw the need. If I saw a jutsu and liked it well enough, I remembered the hand signs and worked out how to do it later. Having eidetic memory really helps," said Itachi blandly.

Yet another thing he got from this world, aside from a love of reading, the ability to swim again (Fugaku had been less than pleased to learn of his son's reluctance to go near water of any form aside from baths), the weird eyes that creeped him out and a whole new set of skills... was an eidetic memory. His eyes apparently didn't like the fact he didn't use them often, so they gave him an eidetic memory by the time he was five. After that it was simply a process of trial and error.

He had earned quite a bit of respect for not falling back on his clan's doujutsu just to learn an enemy's specialty.

Itachi looked at Kakashi.

"You can tell people I already have the Sharingan. I don't particularly care either way."

Kakashi couldn't wait to see the reaction of the Council when it learned Itachi not only had the Sharingan, a fully activated one at that, but that he had done it at four and never bothered to use it once.

His reputation was about skyrocket if he knew the rumor mill right. Itachi was well-respected in the ANBU for not being a total ass and actually being a kind person to be around. It had only grown when he proved he wasn't above getting dirty and never flinched when it came to death. And then there was the fact that while he had never once used the Sharingan on the field, he worked just as hard as everyone else and had an innate mastery of fire style.

Finding out he had the Sharingan at such a young age, yet worked his body to the bone doing it the hard way was only going to add to his reputation and respect from his fellow shinobi.

Some of them hated those who flaunted their bloodline limits as if they were better than everyone else. But they respected Itachi because he never did, even when Fugaku openly pressured him to activate the doujutsu in public. Itachi had stared him down and asked quite clearly why he should be forced to awaken it if he didn't actually care about the boost it would give him in a fight.

That had been one of the louder fights Itachi had with the man.

Kakashi had an evil grin on his face as he informed them what they would be doing now that Itachi had given them a bit of training today.

"Welcome...to the wonderful world of D ranks!" he said grinning. Itachi coughed behind him, but both boys knew he was actually laughing behind the man's back.

He had also given them horror stories about Tora, the Fire Daimyo's Wife's evil cat. And informed them that it was a standard mission for new genin.

* * *

Team 7 was banned from ever taking the Tora mission within a week of first trying it. Apparently the cat had been so traumatized by their handling (namely Naruto slapping a tag on the cat before Kakashi caught on thanks to Itachi's interference) that the Fire Daimyo's wife requested that they never catch her cat again.

Itachi and Anko had nearly laughed themselves sick when they heard.

It took them a month, but eventually Sakura was finally at the proper standard for a true kunoichi. Once she realized how much eating properly and actually training made her feel as opposed to the horrible feeling of a partially starved stomach, she vowed then and there never to slip back to those silly diets.

And then Itachi threw her to the wolves...so to speak. He sent her to train with Inuzuka Hana, who helped Sakura learn medic jutsu (he had guessed correctly as to her ninja type...the girl was a natural at medical chakra) and ironed out her Academy style taijutsu.

She also helped Sakura with those little things that only kunoichi knew, since she was the lone female on Team 7. Itachi knew better than to try to teach her, and he knew Inuzuka were less secretive about what happens at puberty. He would help the boys once hormones kicked in at full force. Sakura had yet to hit that stage thankfully.

Another thing he had done was put an end to Sakura's habit of hitting Naruto for the smallest infraction. She mistakenly believed putting down one teammate would endear her to the other. A habit ingrained by her mother, one who hated Naruto for the fox he held at bay.

Every so slowly, they were becoming a real genin team. Then came the day that it almost fell apart. They day Itachi took them to Sand on a regular exchange run while Kakashi took an A rank assassination to Wave. Apparently a man named Gato had crossed the line by nearly assassinating a civilian who was considered the hero of the town. Itachi had been coming back from a mission of his own at the time and happened to stop it at the last second.

Kaiza was currently in Konoha answering their questions until Gato was taken care of. The people of Wave assumed the man was dead.

* * *

"Itachi-sensei, where is Kakashi?" asked Sakura. She didn't consider Kakashi a real teacher ever since Itachi held his little book hostage and she learned what was in it.

"You know about the countries bordering ours, right Sakura?" said Itachi.

She nodded.

"A merchant has taken control of Nami no Kuni illegally and has been acting like a Daimyo, cutting off all messages to the lands surrounding it. Kakashi has gone to deal with him so we can get someone in there to start the recovery efforts. According to our reports, the situation in Wave is bad. Very bad."

"What about us, Itachi-nii?" asked Sasuke.

"We will be training until he returns, or until I am informed otherwise. Today we'll focus on unusual shinobi weapons. Since I am your teacher, you are all going to pick _one_ weapon not standard to the usual genin. You will learn how to maintain and fight with it, so pick carefully. And just to be clear, we are on a budget, so try not to get anything over ten thousand," said Itachi.

He had already gotten his unusual weapon...a very poor, but useable gun...though he had to show that Tenten girl what it looked like and how it worked...and occasionally he switched it up with a crossbow.

He couldn't count the times he had taken out an enemy shinobi with that gun and their looks of shock. Sure it was noisy as hell and he had to get custom bullets for it, but when secrecy was out the window, he preferred a gun at his side to some wimpy kunai or shuriken...besides, ninja had exploding tags, so they had no room to talk.

"What is this place?" asked Sakura.

"Higarashi Weapons. If you bring them an interesting weapon to trade or sell, or come up with an entirely new weapon to play with you get half off on practically all shinobi gear. Besides, the owner's daughter is a year older than you three and is also a genin," said Itachi blandly. He was actually trying not to grin.

Tenten had a thing for seals, but not enough chakra to power them. Itachi had promised Naruto as her new target dummy in exchange for teaching him seals and a few tricks to maintain his weapons.

Tenten was more than happy to help Naruto when Itachi casually mentioned to her that Naruto was like a living chakra battery and could power some of her unused seal designs.

He still wanted to be there when they set them off, because most of Tenten's designs blew up. And like the pyro he was, he loved explosions.

Sasuke immediately gravitated to the swords. Despite popular belief, Itachi does own a sword. The problem was that most people didn't recognize the kind. At least no one in Fire Country anyway.

Someone from the Water country might have recognized his sword as a cutlass, which is the preferred sword of a pirate.

Itachi made a note to introduce his brother to Hayate Gekkou, since he didn't know the first thing about fighting with a katana.

Naruto's choice also surprised him. He picked up a naginata and a short crossbow similar to Itachi's.

Apparently he knew his own problem with ranged attacks and planned to use a naginata to compensate. A smart move.

It was Sakura who surprised him the most, however. She picked up a pair of knives...according to the label they were deer horn knives. He had no idea how to use those, which meant he would have to look for an instructor on their use.

(He would later find a monk from the Temple of Fire who took pity on the girl and showed her how to use them properly. Apparently their main use was against anything that gave the opponent a longer reach, like a sword or spear. She had made a smart choice, considering the boys now had a longer reach than she did in spars.)


	5. Chapter 5

Itachi was halfway into a saucer of sake when the ANBU arrived. Apparently Kakashi called for back up...something about Mist Demon and an apprentice. Oh, and chakra exhaustion.

Itachi could honestly care less, plus this gave him an excuse to try out his new boat. No way in hell was he sleeping in the same room as Kakashi! The man had left with three of his poorly written porno books, which meant he wasn't taking the mission seriously.

"Alright Chibis, we have a mission. Kakashi seems to have messed up on his, so we're going in as back up. And by we, I mean I've been called in and you lot are getting some valuable experience in terms of observing a B to A rank mission," said Itachi flatly.

Naruto raised his hand.

"Yes Naruto?"

"Does this mean we get to ride your new boat?"

"Thank you for reminding me. In addition to be observers you three will be learning how to tie knots and learn weather patterns. Those Academy knots are pathetic."

"Itachi-sensei, why do you have a boat?" asked Sakura.

Sasuke and Naruto looked at each other. It was up to Itachi to tell her the truth or not.

"I have some vacation days saved up, and I plan to take it out in Tea Country. I happen to like sailing, even if I have trouble swimming."

It was the oddest thing. Fresh water didn't bother him anymore, but salt water made him sluggish. He just put it down as a residual effect of being reborn. At least he could swim now.

* * *

It took them twelve hours to get to the first expanse of water. Itachi was about to unseal his boat when he noticed something in the distance. It almost looked like a lion's head and the sail had something yellow and red on it.

It couldn't be what he hoped it was...could it?

He unsealed his boat and had the genin get on. Instead of heading to the shore, he leaned on the edge of the boat as he taught Naruto how to steer. The boy read the winds like a natural.

Their first stop was the ship Itachi noted in the distance.

* * *

The crew was still feeling the aftereffects of that odd haki they were hit with. Or was it a devil fruit? They didn't know, only that it left them all dizzy.

It was Usopp who noticed a small vessel approaching them.

Luffy sat up. He couldn't wait to meet the newcomers...as long as they weren't Marines.

Instead it had a kid in orange, a pink haired girl reading a book on knots, and two raven haired people, one of which was roughly Luffy's age.

The oldest person on the boat said "Hail ship! Anyone alive on there?"

"Why did you alert them that you were here Itachi-sensei?" asked the pink haired one.

"Because they don't belong here, and etiquette says that anyone approaching a foreign vessel should hail, if only to open up friendly negotiations... Besides, it would be beyond rude to board a pirate vessel without at least saying hello first," said the tall one, apparently named Itachi. Luffy immediately liked him.

"They're pirates?!" shrieked the pink one.

Itachi lightly whopped her upside the head.

"Sakura, there are such things as good pirates. You don't honestly believe all shinobi are moral, upright people do you?" said the other raven haired boy.

"Exactly Sasuke. Besides, I recognize that flag. They aren't bad people, but there are quite a few that are on Naruto's level of intelligence on that ship," said Itachi grinning.

"That bad, huh?" said Sasuke.

"Yup."

Luffy dropped the ladder, and the four came aboard. The pink one, Sakura, seemed the most nervous of the four. The other three were completely at ease.

"Hi!" said Luffy, breaking any tension like a knife.

The blond looked at him carefully before looking at Itachi.

"Nii-san, is this that rubber kid you mentioned?" asked the blond.

"Yes, Naruto, that is Luffy."

Naruto grinned as wide as Luffy had. It didn't take long for the two to start chatting like old friends over food. It was Nami, however, who gave Itachi an odd look.

"Who exactly are you? And how do you know us?"

Sasuke grinned proudly.

"My brother is Fire Man!"

"I ate the Fire Fire fruit years ago, and I've known Luffy for a very long time. Though recently I have learned how to swim," said Itachi.

"Who are you really?" said Zoro, looking at the young man suspiciously.

Itachi had an evil idea. He signaled Naruto with their special hand signal for 'Prank in works, need assist'.

Naruto took the hint and brought Luffy close enough for him to see the show.

Itachi created his fire clone in a heartbeat, and he saw Luffy's jaw drop in shock.

"Yo," said Ace.

Naturally the Straw Hat crew was in complete shock. Particularly Luffy.

"But...you died!" said Nami.

"I died, ended up in this guy. I can only come out if Itachi makes a fire clone...at least this form anyway. Being reborn into another body isn't so bad, but not being a pirate sucks," said Ace flatly.

"Oh please, it's not like you cared when Tou-san and the rest of the clan was alive! It took two low powered lightning jutsu to wake you up on time for missions, and you still have to wear that alarm clock to stay awake!" snorted Sasuke.

Luffy finally got over his shock, because he tackled Ace in a hug. Ace grinned before he properly introduced the team. Sakura immediately got along with Robin, and was quickly introduced to the ship's large library. Naruto and Luffy hit it off, dragging Usopp and Chopper with them. Sasuke drifted off to talk to Zoro, having noted the swords while Itachi helped Nami bring in his tiny boat.

They would anchor near the shore so Itachi could help Kakashi while the kiddies learned from Luffy's crew. Leaving them with the Straw Hats was a better option than dragging them along.

Besides, it would give Itachi time to tell the Hokage about his younger brother showing up and making a decent cover story as to why they were in Konoha. With how closely Luffy was sticking around Naruto (and by extension the Fire Clone Ace was in) there was little doubt in Itachi's mind that they would settle in at the village, if only to have a base of operations until they figured a way home.

Or better yet, a way to make the trip a two-way one.

* * *

"You were supposed to be here two hours ago," Kakashi accused.

"Ran into someone who would help. If a hawk shows up, let me know. There's been an...interesting...development."

"Good or bad?"

Itachi grinned, and Kakashi had the brief notion it wasn't Itachi at all.

"Good, very good indeed. I even left the chibi brigade and the little pink one behind with them," said Itachi. Before he promptly fell sound asleep, his narcolepsy kicking in full force.

Kakashi sweatdropped. There was little doubt this was Itachi...no enemy shinobi would_ dare_ be able to fall asleep anywhere near Kakashi, let alone do it so seamlessly. Which really begged the question...just who the hell did Itachi trust so much to leave Naruto and Sasuke with?

* * *

Luffy all but adopted Naruto and Sasuke as his younger brothers once he learned how they were related to Ace. Sakura was off learning from either Robin, Nami or Chopper, as she had developed a knack for learning about medicine thanks to Itachi. Chopper couldn't believe how quickly the girl learned the subject...she was like a sponge!

Naruto and Luffy were off exploring the ship, and Sasuke was learning from Zoro how to really use a sword. The green haired swordsman seemed impressed at how diligent the boy was, and how little he complained.

Then came the minor scuffle between Luffy and Naruto when Sanji made ramen. Made meal time very entertaining to watch, as the small blond clashed with Luffy evenly over the bowls. It had more than one of the crew staring, because they had long since learned to eat quickly and guard your food from any angle from their captain's massive appetite.

At least Naruto showed some table manners, unlike Luffy. By the time lunch rolled around, Itachi had returned with an extra passenger...Kakashi.

Needless to say it was quite entertaining watching him stare at Nami and Robin...and at the way he reacted to Devil Fruit powers. Considering where they came from, it was equally as amusing to see the way the Straw Hat crew reacted to Itachi water-walking like it was nothing, or the Sharingan eyes.

* * *

"So...that kid with the Straw Hat...he is the rubber man you wrote about in your stories?" asked Kakashi. He liked the 'Adventures of Fire Man' a good deal, as the battle scenes were interesting and the more adult aspects were just right for shinobi audiences.

(Itachi wrote two versions, the adult version and the ones acceptable as bedtime stories for kids.)

"Luffy...was my brother in my previous life. I have no idea how they ended up here in the Elemental Countries, but I am glad they did. Sasuke could learn a great deal from Zoro, and Naruto can learn a lot from Luffy and Usopp. He might have a few problems with Brook though..."

"Brook?"

"A living skeleton...literally. Remember the setting for Fire Man?"

"A large series of oceans and seas called the Grand Line and the Four Blues?"

"Remember how Fire Man got his powers?"

"Devil Fruits... You mean there is actually a fruit that brings the dead to life?"

"Pretty useless, but I suppose it could be worse," said Itachi.

"Who the hell is Fire Man?!" asked Kakashi incredulous.

"Myself in my last life. You didn't think my control over fire was a kekkei genkai or naturally ability did you?"

Judging by the look on Kakashi's face, yes, he did think that.

"So are powers hereditary?"

"Not that I know of. Then again, I've never seen anyone conceive after eating a devil fruit. It could be possible."

"They might have a more warm welcome if that is the case..."

"Coincidentally, the crew picked up a few Devil Fruits before they came here, one of which was a Zoan type identified as the Wolf fruit. Think the Inuzuka would be interested?"

"If they aren't, I would be!"

"You do realize that eating a Devil Fruit means you can never swim again, right?"

"...Didn't you say that most of that world is covered in water?" asked Kakashi.

"Yup."

"Why would these fruits have such an unpleasant side effect?"

"Nobody knows, but because of this side effect, anyone who eats a Devil Fruit is also vulnerable to a rare gem called a Sea Stone. I suppose the gods didn't want those with Devil Fruit powers to become too strong."

"So which one did you eat?"

"The Fire Fire Fruit. My nickname was Fire Fist Ace."

"Are you sure we can trust pirates?"

"Despite what their high bounties claim back in the other world, they are actually quite friendly and they would never think of hurting the kids. I'm sure Sakura could learn a great deal from Chopper."

"The reindeer?"

"He ate the Human-Human fruit and now he's the opposite of a normal Zoan type. He's also the ship's doctor," said Itachi grinning at the incredulous look on Kakashi's face.

"I just assumed they had nin animals in that world of yours."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but they don't. Speaking of nin animals, you should summon the pack on the ship. I'm sure Luffy would get a real kick out of them, especially Pakkun."

"What did the Hokage say about the pirates?"

"Once I told him that they were roughly like me, only slightly more screwy, he said they just had to deal with Anko and they'll be given a place to stay until we can figure out a way to send them home. The _Thousand Sunny_ will be sealed and placed in one of the training lakes so they don't have to rent a place."

"...You're going to be bringing the kids there all the time once it's set up, aren't you?" said Kakashi deadpan.

"You bet your ass!"

* * *

Zabuza was curious about these...pirates. They didn't act anything like what he was used to.

For one thing, they were friendly. For another, they barely had ten people on that crew, and that was including the talking reindeer!

There was one simple reason he didn't think of attacking them.

He had seen the green-haired one who slept all day bench press more pounds with one hand than even_ he _could. Zabuza was not suicidal enough to try and take out that guy.

So when the infamous Fire Master Itachi showed up with a deal, he planned to take it.

* * *

Kakashi's hand went through Gatou's heart, and the man died. And with that, Wave was finally free of his tyranny. There had been quite a welcoming party for Kaiza, once Itachi brought him back.

Naruto had gotten through to his adopted son, and with his father back Inari wasn't on the path to Emo anymore. Itachi was busy raiding Gato's office and sending some of the funds Konoha's way while Nami stole everything of value she could find. She hadn't been happy to hear that the currency was different, as it meant exchanging it would be nearly impossible without a proper ongoing rate.

Fortunately Itachi looked the other way while she robbed Gato's safe blind.

Luffy was too busy trying to recruit Zabuza and Haku once he saw what Haku could do.

* * *

"Welcome back Team 7. I take it these are the Straw Hat crew?" asked the Hokage pleasantly.

"May I introduce Monkey D. Luffy, Nami, Nico Robin, Usopp, Tony Tony Chopper, Roronoa Zoro, Sanji, Brook and Franky. Behind them are Zabuza and Haku Momochi," said Itachi.

"On the level of intelligence, how bad are they?" asked Sarutobi mock seriously.

"On a scale of Naruto to Nara, it would be Luffy, Zoro, Usopp, Sanji, Brook, Franky, Nami, Chopper and Robin. Too soon for me to tell about the other two," said Itachi.

"So Luffy-san is about the same level as Naruto?"

"Thereabouts. The irony is that he's the strongest and the glue that holds them together," said Itachi, highly amused.

"Very well. In any case you just have to deal with Anko for a little bit before you can go about the village. Itachi said you would like to stay on your ship instead of getting an apartment?"

"It wouldn't feel right to live anywhere but the _Sunny_," said Luffy.

"Very well, Itachi pick one of the unused training grounds so I can have it marked as their area. Standard rules for rental and reconstruction fees apply," said Sarutobi.

"Hai, Hokage-sama. I have one already in mind," said Itachi.

Two days later the Straw Hats (plus two newcomers) were allowed to join Konoha. All of them were either Jounin, or in the case of Usopp and Haku, chunin.


End file.
